Well, Al-Qaida has identified the would-be 20th hijacker for Sept 11th. His first name is Turki.
No, seriously. That’s the name of the terrorist who didn’t make it into the top 95% percentile of would-be September 11th hijackers. It comes as no surprise that he has since been killed in a shoot-out with Saudi security forces. Something tells me he wasn’t too handy with guns either.
I wonder if the better terrorists ever tease the incompetent ones during the meetings. “Hey Turki! Have you missed any flights lately? HA HA HA HA SNORT! Or “Neener neener – can’t even hijack! HA HA HA HA SNORT!”
I don’t know whether or not terrorists snort when they laugh, but it’s easy to imagine that they do.
Anyway, it must be tough enough having a career that pretty much demands that you kill yourself for an imaginary friend. But it must be even worse when you are the worst one at doing it. “I have tried to kill myself several times now, but something keeps going wrong. First I miss the plane. Then I leave my exploding vest at the cleaners. Oy vey, it is always something!”
Most terrorists probably don’t say, “oy vey,” but it sounds like the sort of thing that Turki would have said, probably right before trying to behead himself with a plastic spoon while recording the whole thing on Betamax.