You might think that the various parts of your body are all on the same team. Not true. Your back, for example, hates your guts.
The way you can tell that your back is evil is that it never warns you when it’s about to give you a painful, life-altering sprain that will make you envy the dead and – most of all – the dead people with good backs.
Your back accumulates and stores slight injustices in the same way a camel’s hump stores water, or figs, or puss, or whatever the hell is in there. Then your treacherous back watches and waits for the right opportunity to strike.
If you have ever had a severe back sprain, you can answer the following quiz with no problem. Which activity is most likely to result in the worst back pain of your life?
A. Skiing to outrace an avalanche
B. Lifting a car to save a baby
C. Kickboxing competition
D. Bending over to pick up a piece of Pringles™ you spit out while laughing at your own joke
The last thing that your back wants is for you to have an excellent story to mitigate some of your discomfort. Your back will not be happy until you are not only painfully debilitated but also a pathetic bore in the eyes of others.
Other Person: “So, how’d you end up in the full body cast?”
You: “Well, it’s a funny story. I was tying my shoe.”